The state of Maryland, affectionately referred to as "The Nanny State" by most residents here, is a prime example in a microcosm of what the entire country will be like under a Marxist Obama administration with a Democratic majority in Congress. Because Maryland has been monopolized by the Democrats since the beginning of time (the single exception being 4 years of a powerless Republican Gov. Bob Ehrlich) you can witness here the true fruition of the radical wing of the liberal agenda gone unchecked.

 
The leftist agenda to a college student living in Iowa or Texas might seem like the stuff that dreams are made of. Radical ideas always sound great when you are reading about them in a book, but rarely do people take into consideration the Law of Unintended Consequences. So, rather than ride out the next 3 months until you can cast your vote for Barack Obama, I suggest you simply pack your tie-dyed shirts and Patchouli, and move to Maryland. As a matter of fact, I think an off-campus semester in Maryland should be a general college requirement for any newly registered Democrat in college. Rather than inflict your vision onto the rest of the country, simply move to where it is already in action…
 
Want a taste of what universal government programs will be like under a President Obama? Visit your local MVA. Car insurance is mandatory here, so if you miss a monthly payment by a single day, you will owe the state $175. Why such an unnecessarily high penalty for a one day lapse? Don’t ask questions. Government is looking out for you.
 
Nevermind that you only missed the payment because you are poor, you are now even poorer. Talk about kicking someone when they are down! But don’t ask questions. In Maryland, rent comes first, then utilities, then car insurance, then money owed to the state, then gas, then food if possible. Get it straight.
 
Since most of us Marylanders in the "middle-class" are living paycheck to paycheck, you might find that you miss a payment from time to time. This is unacceptable. More penalties will be applied to you. If you stay here long enough, you might find out you owe the state maybe $800 or more so better set up a payment plan…
 
You can’t do this over the phone or on the internet, you have to visit the main office. Not the branch 2 minutes down the road, either. The main office. You see, a lot of people have jobs that require justification, so you have to experience their expertise first-hand.
 
Have a question you want to ask someone over the phone? Give MVA a call. In 15 minutes, you will be speaking to an operator. Don’t like the answer to your question? Call back in an hour and speak with a different operator, she will give you a completely different answer. That’s how the operators are when you call the MVA. Don’t waste your time, it’s all a mind trick. Just proceed to the main office…  
 
Once inside the main office, you will see maybe 50 employees behind computer screens in various places dotted around the massive room. (Students, pretend Barack Obama is President and this is an emergency room) Each station represents a singular issue you may have… three issues = three stations. Don’t try to be sneaky either, and get three different numbers for all three stations at once. They don’t play like that here…
 
Sometimes, you will run into a situation where you haven’t fully explained yourself to the Information Desk. Afterall, those people are the equivilant to Wal-mart greeters, so you may discover you have waited for an hour in the wrong line. Understand, this is your fault.
 
You are at Desk C for example when actually, you should have taken a number for Desk A and Desk B respectively before you can visit Desk C. "Well, can I do the C part now and then get in line for A and B later?" you might ask. No! You must follow the rules. You must go in the proper order. This is for your protection…
 
Once you’ve mastered the ways of the MVA, no doubt you will never make the same mistakes on your next trip. Because you are already living paycheck to paycheck, the addition of a new monthly payment to your budget for insurance violations will strain your budget even more, so the likelihood of your return is pretty damn high.
 
You might even get a little cocky in the future as you calmly explain to the blue-haired lady at the information desk that she is in fact wrong, and that your particular issue should lead you to line 347B rather than 265A. Afterall, line 265A is for pigeon-toed left-handed hookers with title issues…
 
To experience the MVA is to experience government bureaurocracy at its best, not worst. Hours of driving time, waiting in lines, and mountains of paperwork are what you should realistically expect from a government-run entity. What takes you hours to do on a day you had to take off work, you soon realize that a company like Bank of America could do for you in five minutes over the phone…
 
Government service is not based on a workforce of efficiency or greatness, their liberal bleeding hearts are too big for that. Their workers are almost always the down-trodden and malfeasants of our society who are paid big bucks for a single-issue position. More money, less work. Instead of one skilled worker designed to take care of your every need at a single terminal, government makes you do all the work by taking numbers and waiting in lines to compensate for their lack of intelligence, and their need to justify hiring more workers.
 
By requiring newly registered Democrat students to live in the state of Maryland, progressive utopia that it is, they should soon realize that government isn’t designed to work for you at all. You will be the one doing all the work.